Tamar

      "She skipped as she walked along the path with her mother. She was about 9 years old at that time and it was the summer holidays. She was starting at a new school in the Fall, a bigger, more prestigious school and had to prepare for their difficult interview processes. So mother and daughter were on their way to her tutor's house. Walking that path with her mother was one of their traditions, one that she treasured. Her mother would always drop her to the tutor's home, and promise to come back in an hour to pick her up after the session. Her tutor was a kind boy. He had just graduated high school, and was at his parents house for the holidays before the start of university.  His mother was usually home during their tutoring sessions and sometimes the mothers would chat while the boy tutored her. They had been lucky to find someone who was free over the summer holidays in their small town. Her parents had known the boy's family since he was a little boy, and had watched him and his siblings grown up. Both families were good friends and well respected in the community and in the Church. She liked him too - he didn't talk to her like she was a little girl, like so many other grown-ups. Instead he talked to her like an equal, and that made her feel extra special. Their tutoring sessions were filled with uninterrupted, grown-up conversations and for those few moments she felt very mature indeed!

      After a few days of tutoring, he told her that she was way too smart to need the whole hour for tutoring. If she focused during their session the next day, they could be done in just 45 minutes! And the remaining 15 minutes they could talk about anything she wanted. What a treat! She was so excited to hear that so she worked extra hard to be done in time - he would be so impressed with her! The next day when they were done with the lesson part of the day he told her that they probably didn't want to be disturbed so wouldn't it be better if they locked the door? That sounded like a odd idea as his mother wasn't home that day. But he probably knew best as it was his house so she nodded in reply. He scooped her up and carried her to the door so she could pull the latch at the top of the door. She giggled, but it was a nervous giggle now - she couldn't stop thinking why he needed to close the door. He then sat down at the table and pulled her into his lap. At home no one put her in their lap anymore, she had a younger brother at home who was the pampered one now so this was a rare occurrence. She didn't know what to do, but she didn't want to say anything to upset him, after all he had been so nice to her. He started talking with her about her new school, and her life in general and she became comfortable with him again. He told her she was special and kissed her lightly on her forehead, much like her dad and grandfather used to do. He patted her on her back, and found the buttons that held her dress together. He teased her a little about buttoning buttons that were on the back when everyone else wore dresses with zippers. He told her that he bet she couldn't button them back up by herself if he undid them. He kissed her again, on her cheeks this time, as he undid the buttons. 

      When her mother came to pick her up that day she asked him how the session went. He told her mother that she had improved greatly and that the session had gone remarkably well! Her mother thanked him, and told him that they would see him in church that Sunday. The walk home seemed somber, and she seemed withdrawn. Her mother grew worried as she tried to draw her daughter out with conversation, but she didn't seem to be in the mood. Maybe they were pushing her too hard with tutoring over the summer. Her mother made a mental note to chat with her husband about it later that night. But back at home with the hustle and bustle of life, the somber walk home from tutoring was forgotten. They saw her tutor and his family at church that Sunday, and he even came over to say hello to her. The two families talked for a while, and made plans to meet for dinner later. Her parents praised her tutor - he was such a good boy to volunteer his time like that to tutor their little girl! Especially when he was so busy himself with his involvement with church youth group activities and the church choir. She smiled and nodded. Yes, he really was wonderful, or he must be because everybody said so - including her own parents.

       Every day for the rest of the summer she went back for tutoring. Every day for the rest of the summer her tutor ended their tutoring 15 minutes early to chat with her. He told her every day how special she was, but she didn't feel very special by the end of the summer. They went their separate ways after that and she never saw him again. Over the years that followed life moved on for both of them, but she never was able to fully forget that summer."  



Tamar in the Bible is one of five unlikely women in the genealogy of Jesus. Her story can be found in Genesis 38. Though the two stories are not similar I want to use these stories to draw our attention to the side of human nature which is most ignored by our modern Church. We find it hard to believe something like child sexual abuse is possible within the church, that it could happen to someone we know. We may even ignore these stories because it makes us uncomfortable to think about the imperfections and brokenness of human nature. But this is our reality, one we all need to address. And thankfully for us, as evidenced in the Bible, God specializes in taking the imperfect and broken and making it a part of something bigger and far more beautiful. Tamar in the Bible was mistreated by men, through no fault of her own; and there was brokenness in her life. But God uses her and her brokenness as part of his Grand Plan for the Whole World. This is part one of a five-part-series of stories.